The problem in my uni group has always been one of my concern. Althought i said I don't care. But some how, I care. Like a lot. I will notice about their presence or existence. And I will be extra sensitive to things they do. DD gang is no more DD.

Just had a conversation with ai hua, and she said. Perhaps it's fated. These few people are not suitable to be together. She's spreading me positive energy. Some how, my 心理素质很差。like really bad.

I complaint to shao hwa then I asked him. Did I annoy you? Everytime I complain to you. He said that he just doesn't understand why was I being so angry. When I think that joelin actually ask me to go and find out something by myself, as we are in the same research team. I was damn pissed and I told her this is our group work. Perhaps she didn't mean that or what. Ai hua said. But then I was very sensitive. I was thinking did I overly reacted. Or I was just thinking too much.

Shao hwa asked me. Why that I'm caring so much. It's because I hate them. True. He said, care about who you love. Not who you hate. You are wasting your time. It doesn't benefit you when u are angry with people u hate. True.

All true but it isn't easy doing all these. Everytime people talk to me. I care about what they would think of me about my answer. Or my action. I just cared about how people judge me. I'm afraid of people hating me. I act like I don't care. But I always care.. wtf I'm saying and doing lol. I'm not sure. The reason I hating them is because. They don't like me. I'm not sure what's the reason. But I'm afraid to find out. Afraid to get to know how sucks I am. For reacting in this way. I never really think about the reasons. But I guess I am just an ugly human being.

Note to self:
1) care about who you love, not who you hate.
2) 适合就在一起，合不来就分开。时间会冲淡一切。
3) be a bitch. Be you. Careless.
4) 还发现自己很容易被影响。where's your rationality? Don't just listen and absorb. Judge by yourself. You're now 23.